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Good news, everyone! There’s a report on TV with some very bad news! Then we’ll go with that data file! Daylight and everything. If rubbin’ frozen dirt in your crotch is wrong, hey I don’t wanna be right. Just once I’d like to eat dinner with a celebrity who isn’t bound and gagged. I am […]

Good news, everyone! There’s a report on TV with some very bad news! Then we’ll go with that data file! Daylight and everything. If rubbin’ frozen dirt in your crotch is wrong, hey I don’t wanna be right. Just once I’d like to eat dinner with a celebrity who isn’t bound and gagged. I am […]

Waitress : Hello, what would you like to drink? Me : milky coffee Waitress : How would you like it? Me : with milk

You don’t know how to do any of those. It’s a T. It goes “tuh”. Okay, I like a challenge. Son, as your lawyer, I declare y’all are in a 12-piece bucket o’ trouble. But I done struck you a deal: Five hours of community service cleanin’ up that ol’ mess you caused. I feel like I was mauled by Jesus. Tell her you just want to talk. It has nothing to do with mating.

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